How to change a scarcity mindset
Updated: Mar 15
We always had food growing up. Always. I* can not remember ever having an empty fridge or pantry. We never went to bed hungry. My mom was the best cook in the world. And yet, I remember a constant low level feeling of dread that we would starve, a thread of panic woven through my body that at times would expand into an ever tightening straitjacket around my chest, making it difficult for me to breathe.
In adulthood, those feelings intensified as I had children and became responsible for other mouths to feed. No matter our actual income, or what our fridge and pantry actually looked like, in my mind, it was never enough.
It wasn't just food, either. Nothing was enough. There was never enough time to get things done. Never enough money. And most of all, I was not enough. My comparison game was strong. Everyone else was better than I was, and if I'm being completely honest, I felt an envious pit in my stomach when someone else advanced in life. I laid awake at night, unable to fall sleep because of my racing mind and the suffocating desperation of never being or having enough.
As my commitment to my healing journey deepened, it was clear that I needed to shift my mindset from scarcity to abundance. It seemed so overwhelming at first, but looking back, I can see that the key was to consistently do small, simple things to keep inching along. I share this with you not to overwhelm you but to let you know that if I can change, you can too.
In no particular order:
- gratitude practice. I have an in depth gratitude journal practice every day. I started out with simply naming 3 things I was grateful for every night.
- get rid of stuff. I did the Konmari method. It took months. Worth it!
- be more generous than was my inclination. Tip more generously and give more expansively.
- change my language. Consciously reframe the way I thought and spoke. Gently and lovingly correct my own language. "We have enough for our needs." "There is more than enough time to finish necessary tasks."
- daily affirmations. Super awkward and uncomfortable at the start. Saying "I am enough" felt like I was lying and I sometimes wanted to vomit or cry. True story. Using wild orange oil helped immensely. That physical shift in my body helped anchor the mental shift.
- recognize that much of the deep scarcity I was carrying wasn’t even my own. Learning about my family history and traumas helped me so much.
I actually felt honored to carry it when I realized that it had been passed to me through generations of ancestors whose sacrifices and love are the reason I survived. They survived colonization and I have the opportunity to heal through decolonizing. It magnified my drive to change my mindset.
- use wild orange essential oil**, the oil of abundance, every day. This has had a profound impact on me.
- pick tiny simple things to do from the list above and do them every day. Teeny tiny things. One affirmation that takes 5 seconds. Three things to be grateful for in under one minute. Inhale wild orange from my palms at a red light whenever I drove. And then, when that was anchored, add something else. Small rituals were the key.
I am still a work in progress. The old programming comes back at times. But it gets easier to dismiss it and choose abundance. We live in a glorious, abundant world and I see that more clearly every day.
(photo of me in second grade. I have distinct memories at this age of feeling like I wasn't enough, and I was too much, all at once. )
Comment here or message me with your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!
*As with everything I share, I am not an expert. I am simply a woman on her own healing journey sharing my ever deepening and expanding Truth.
**My suggestions and recommendations are based on doTERRA essential oils. Here's why.